How resentment begins and how to stop it

Why Resentment Begins and How to Stop It

All of us have grown up in families with life situations where all our wants and needs have not been met. Perhaps as a child we weren’t even aware of this condition.

Yet moving into adulthood, our lives often become a frenetic search for meeting or achieving every single one of those needs and wants. The end result of this search can be a life in which contentment and fulfillment are out of reach.

Lacking contentment, our feelings can revert to resentment. We wonder Why can’t I achieve this goal? Why can’t my partner support me so my wants are met? Why can’t I find fulfillment in a work environment?

The list goes on and on.

Resentment is a reflection of past experiences in which my perspective is that my needs and wants haven’t been met. I then review my future through my resents and believe that I will never be able to achieve my dreams. This, of course, leads to resentment. It’s a vicious cycle with our past feeding our future expectations.

What’s the antidote to this condition?


We start with realizing that nobody on the planet grew up in a family where all wants and needs were met.

We realize that had many of my wants been met, that indeed would led to disasters in life.

We realize that just perhaps many of our “misses” in life have truly given us a better life… a life in which we can relate far better to others who are struggling with exactly the same issues. This life is fuller when we learn to accept the misses, the struggles, and the dreams which simply haven’t happened yet.

Do we give up? No. Do we resent them? No. Do we accept them? Yes. Do we learn from them and move into a new and different life? Yes!

The choice is mine (and yours). Resentment or acceptance? Let’s choose acceptance as the first step toward a new life.

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